Andrew & David's Beary Fairy Story! |
Written by Arthur Knight Hammer | |||
Friday, 10 August 2007 09:43 | |||
Once Upon A Time, there was a great but lonely Bear called David, who Inner Darkness said “Now we need only await the passing of our mother, whom we love and do not wish to offend, and then we can do away with ourselves, Precious! For this misery can hardly be any longer endured by human flesh!” Now David befriended Duke Dwight of Light who had visited the neighboring Kingdom of the Bears and had seen for himself the transformative powers of the Mystical Mansion, the palace of the Kingdom, where Bears would come and oft times find means to change their Inner Darkness to Light! Duke Dwight had long sought a manner by which to convince David to go there, for wondrous things were known to happen to the lonely hearted at this fabled sanctuary, and upon learning that the King’s music box was broken, he proposed to David that he could please the King by its repair! David readily accepted! But alas! The Music Box Guild David was obliged to would offer no relief. Queen Jeane of Southland Shire caught wind of the plight and, through her second sight, saw that an opportunity of great destiny had presented itself to her charge and, using the power of her mighty orifice, verbally prevailed upon the guild with only mild death threats, to release David for but a day or two that he might take upon himself the quest of the servicing the King’s broken box ... but well knowing that greater things were to play out than music! So the mystical weekend arrived, and David, Duke Dwight, and his Duchess, Jay-Jay-Ole’, did enter their ships and sailed forth through the oceanic forest of Penn, to its very heart, where the King kept his court, in the midst of the Holy Experiment of Quaker lore at the Mystical Mansion. Prince Andrew of Bearidise, never one to shirk work for the sake of title, was absorbed in dressing the third floor of the palace for visitors. The Prince had an Inner Darkness of his own, and deep and black were the labyrinthine thoughts he pondered. King Arthur greeted David at the door and directed him to the workshop where the music box awaited his flattering attentions. At the same moment, Prince Andrew felt a disturbance in the force that drew his attention to the great stairwell, and before David had been 20 seconds in the Mystical Mansion, a hail of friendly obscenities, the specifics of which are mercifully forgotten, descended the staircase to be received by the startled and unsuspecting guest, who turned to the King thinking they might have been intended for his Royal Whoreness; but such was not the case, and the King, rolling his eyes in embarrassment that H.R.W. Purveyor of Music Box Repairs might well take flight from the rambunctious outburst, reluctantly pointed skyward that David might espy the source of the ... proposition. And so David bent his mind to the task of fixing the old music box, and Prince Andrew suddenly took an enormous and hitherto unexplored fascination in old music boxes and hung about the great Bear like odor on Limburger. That evening David asked the King if he would join him in relaxing in
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Last Updated on Saturday, 11 August 2007 09:31 |